Making Up Help

I recently came across an interesting blog entry entitled: Raw Pain: When a Marriage Ends that You Don’t Want to End by Becky Whetstone Ph.D. She’s a psychotherapist from San Antonio, Texas.

Excellent article.

Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve been dumped. More than once. More than I’d like to admit, actually. And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown from the experiences. So, here are some things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #1: It takes two.
Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me

Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery. But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem. Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship. However, if you think there might still be a chance there are ways to save a relationship.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #2: Give women their personal space.

Women like to cuddle and snuggle. They may seem to always be around. But they need their personal space too. Men have a tendency to be possessive. We want to keep tabs on where they’re going and what they’re doing there. If any woman has ever cheated on you, this instinct becomes stronger. But, trust is a key component in a relationship. When you invade her personal space, you send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend. This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger over time.

When you wake up in the morning and the hurt’s so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up. But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person. As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #4: It’s okay if it wasn’t meant to be.

Coming to accept that a relationship wasn’t meant to be is a key factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship into the future – considering marriage, thinking about children – and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn’t meant to be earlier rather than later.

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #5: Good things don’t happen unless you make them happen.

Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can’t control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened. If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.

That means getting back on the horse. Go out, meet new women. Have some fun. Eventually, you will find another relationship. And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one.

Another video by T Dub Jackson:

Learn how to get an ex boyfriend back with T-Dub Jackson’s help and advice.

Breaking up hurts but if you still love him/her you should understand that some actions you taking at trying to win your ex back may back fire and drive them further away.

With the right help and advice you can get your ex back and have an even stronger relationship.

Jim works long hours and Sandra doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Sandra spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving.  While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work.  Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children.  But that is not enough.  How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

Learn More at “The Magic of Making Up”.

When you break up with someone you love, you experience lots of painful emotions.  You feel sad, demoralized and hurt, and you miss them.  “What should I do to get my ex back?” becomes a question you constantly ask yourself.

There are many websites, books, blogs, discussion boards and even courses designed to resolve the question, what should I do to get my ex back? But common sense can really make a difference after a breakup.  And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship.

If you’re obsessed with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then follow this elementary advice.  You’ll afford yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.

Don’t play games.  This is very crucial, but unfortunately many people resort to this during breakups because it gives them a sense of power.  If you can make the other person think that you don’t care, or you care more than you really do, you’re controlling them and that can feel great.  But it won’t feel great for long.

In time you’ll recognise that lying and tricking the other individual isn’t a good feeling. And anything beneficial that occurs because of it will always be sullied a bit because of the lie.

Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous.  While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires.

Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back.  Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway.  You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late.

Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might.  Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person.  If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over.

Now, think about how you’ve been behaving.  If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you?  Or would you dread each time?  Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss.

“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best conduct and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them.  Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren’t my original ideas. I turned to T ‘Dub’ Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T ‘Dub’ authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called “The Magic Of Making Up”. And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.