Making Up Help

I recently came across an interesting blog entry entitled: Raw Pain: When a Marriage Ends that You Don’t Want to End by Becky Whetstone Ph.D. She’s a psychotherapist from San Antonio, Texas.

Excellent article.

Married men live longer than unmarried men, it is a fact that has been reported over and over again from various studies. Women seem to be able to tell when their husband needs to see a Dr before he knows himself and they make sure he eats sensibly and generally looks after himself.

Downsizing, Foreclosures and bankruptcy due to medical bills seem to be the norm for every news cast and newspaper headline at the moment. These situations put huge pressure on couples , your marriage can really suffer when finances become difficult to cope with.

The TV news is full of reports of foreclosures, lower wages and job cuts that are happening all over the USA. These reports cause me some anxiety and I know that my house is safe and so is my job. If you know that your family is under some additional financial pressure and your partner has a history of anxiety then you must pay even more close attention to them than ever before.

This could well be the tipping point when the moments of anxiety will turn into a full blown anxiety or panic attack. As the number of job losses and foreclosures rise so will the number of divorces and separations, but you do not have to become a statistic.

If your partner (or you) start showing signs of avoiding social situations, shaking before seeing anyone, fear of things that never bothered them previously and nausea then there is a good chance that they (or you) have anxiety.

There is no shame to having feelings of anxiety and even panic, the only shame is if you know your partner is suffering and you don’t do anything to help them deal with it. When you work together you have a much better chance of dealing with the anxiety and the root cause of it earlier and with less pain than if you just ignore it and hope it goes away.

Anxiety attacks can be totally debilitating, they can also ruin the life of not just the person who suffers with them but their spouse as well. Since anxiety affects both of you to some degree, you should both be willing to go and discuss it with experts. You are not the first couple to be in this situation so don’t worry about being embarrassed.

Financial problems can put you through some very scary times and they can be a major contributing factor to causing anxiety and panic attacks as well as other forms of mental illness. We advise people to go see a Dr or medical professional for their anxiety but it is also worth asking if the Dr knows of any volunteer groups that have financial experts who can offer you advice as well. Your marriage is worth saving, make the effort to get help for all your problems.

by Kathy Nelson

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